The decision man takes in life determines his future. His determination to do the right thing at the right time brings fortune across his path. On the other hand, his refusal to make the best use of the opportunities available to him makes his life miserable.
It is therefore in the light of this indispensable fact that the decision of man to marry at what time and age determines his marital fulfillment. The subject of marriage is not only sacred, it is also sensitive. Perhaps, this explains why some decided to consider the implications of either early or late marriage before they venture into it.
Obviously, the phrase early or later marriage” in this context is a relative term because what is early to one person may be late to another or verse visa. The question then is “how would defines the concept of early or late marriage in this context? Well, this question cannot be satisfactorily answered without making reference to African tradition in the definition of this concept of late or early marriage. For instance, using the African yardstick, in those old days, girls within the age bracket of (13-18) years were put in the family way, while their male counterparts within age bracket of (14-21) years became fathers of many children and husband of wives. Also worthy of note is that those married couples were active farmers who concentrated on farming.
However, the present era that is characterized with pursuance of western education have brought tremendous changes that have affected the attitudes of young men and ladies. Consequently, some ladies prefer to defer their marriage until after their graduation from University, College of Education or polytechnic. In the same vein, their male counterparts prefer to finish their University education and start working, get accommodation before thinking of marriage.
The research has shown that most girls these days marry within the age bracket of 25-30 years) while their counterparts marry within age bracket of (35-40 years).
Speaking with The Graphic on this sensitive issue, a lecturer in the Department of Accountancy, Kogi State Polytechnic, Lokoja the state capital, Mr. James Ayuba said he married at the age of 32 years. He explained that what informed his decision to marry at that age is his determination to pursue his education. According to him, if he had married earlier than that, he would not have been able to attain his present level of education. He cited an example of his elder brother who is regretting to day because he married as early as when he was 21 years old. Today, he has four children and became overwhelmed with marital responsibilities so much that he could not pursue his education.
He explained that the pursuance of western education by the young men and women is responsible for late marriage. According to him, a successful marriage is not depended on late or early marriage but the ability of the two partners to make it work. He however advised the youths not to take marriage as their priorities, stressing that marriage should be after their educational attainments, saying that good educational background would enable a man to provide basic necessities for his family members.
However, a-54-year old man, a civil servant and a clergyman with Holy Trinity cathedral church, Lokoja, Mr. Samuel Olorunfemi has a contrary view. He strongly believes that early marriage is the best option. According to him, early marriages afford a man, especially a civil servant, the opportunity to train his children from pre-nursery to University, while in the active service. He said thus “If I can train all my children while in the active service, I will enjoy my retirement benefits after retirement”
He however lamented a situation where many retired civil servants are still training their children with their retirement benefits.
Also speaking, Miss Hope Abah said she does not subscribe to early marriage because, according to her, the girl is not medically and biologically fit to herald childbirth and her mind not matured enough to face the challenges that come with being married. “At that age, she is a teenager and she supposed to be in school not a mother”. She stressed. He said further, “I am not yet married and that is not because I don’t want to, but you can only enjoy it when you marry the right man at the right time. One important thing is that women should not become desperate because they want to get married. It is not about marrying anybody in trousers but somebody you are compatible with. Just as they say every women is not a wife, so also every man is not a husband”.
In her opinion, Mrs. Elizabeth Adeshola observed that both early and late marriage have advantages and disadvantages. She however advocates early marriage, nothing that it affords one the privilege position to train his/her children before getting old. According to her, some women who married early enough would have many children who have graduated from Universities and higher institutions at their forties. She cited an example of her late neighbour who was 43 years at her death and already had a daughter who was married. She therefore supports early marriage once the couples have the financial capability to sustain the family.
Mr. Salihu Abdullahi who hails from Niger State has his tales of woes to tell about the early marriage. According to him, he regretted to have married at the age of 15 because his mother on her sick bed persuaded him to marry against his will. He however explained that young men and women should not be desperate about marriage at early age, stressing that marriage is full of responsibilities that requires emotional and mental maturities. He explained that his wife is even now threatening divorce because of his inability to live up to her expectations.
Also speaking, Mr. Moses Gwatana who married at the age of 24, shared his experiences. According to him, early marriage is good because when, as a father, one is getting old, one’s first son would be able to cater for his siblings. He however advised youth of this days not rush to marriage because it is tasking and demanding.